Who Else Wants To Get
Their Life Back After Having
An Addict In Your Life
Dominate and Control You?
In Three Months Or Less . . . Change Your Behaviors,
Live in Peace Every Day, No Longer Be Triggered,
and Find Your Path in Life Toward an Awesome Future!
Hi, I’m Kathy Williamson, Author, Speaker and Addictions Coach . . . a former addict and a former spouse of an ex-addict who had sucked my life out of me, but I got it back!
Are you tired of the emotional roller coaster of hearing the addict’s promises to quit, getting your hopes up, only to see no progress?
Do you believe the lies the addict throws at you about how his drinking or abuse of drugs are all caused by you and your behaviors?
When the addict does go into rehab, you get a glimmer of hope … just a glimmer … only for it to be dashed when the addict quits the program early or relapses within a day or two of being released.
If you have children, their lives are impacted more than you can imagine.
Do you feel yourself slipping further down into an attitude of hopelessness?
You are torn apart emotionally because you love this person, you want to do whatever you can to help him or her, but most of the places you turn to for help are not able to show you how … let alone tell you how to get your life back under your control.
What is it costing you to stay in the emotional state where you’re at?
- Living in constant fear because you don’t know if he or she will come home drunk or how angry they will be today.
- Withdrawals from relationships that really mean a lot to you.
- You don’t have the energy to function at the level you need to in order to be the person you were created to be.
- You have a passion in life, but can’t reach it because of your current situation.
- The dreams for your life have been put on the back burner until a later time when you are back to living a normal life.
If you stay where you’re at emotionally, the drama in your life will just get worse.
How bad do things need to get before you seek out help?
- Loss of self worth because the addict blames you for everything?
- Lose significant relationships and end up in isolation?
- Perhaps repeated 911 calls due to physical abuse?
- The addict goes to jail or prison and you are stuck with children and no income?
If you are serious about improving your life, then you’ve come to the right place.
I was Married to an Ex-Addict, Paranoid, Narcissistic, and Pathological Liar!
I woke up one morning about two years into the marriage and realized I had allowed my life to be sucked out of me. I wanted it back. I had many struggles as I did this. But in the end, even though I lost everything I owned except what I could fit in my car and a few boxes I mailed to a relative, I got my life back.
I want to encourage you to believe that it is possible for you to get your life back, even while trying to influence your addict spouse. I have a special chapter in my book on living with an addicted spouse that can give you some insight and hope that change … for you … is possible.
The Roadmap Out of Addiction
Having gone through my own addiction I am aware of the issues and internal stinking thinking that addicts go through. While I did attend AA groups for a while during that time, they do not cover everything necessary to help a person overcome their addiction and start living a wonderful life again. Thus I created my own process which includes elements that are missing from today’s recovery programs.
The good news is that the same process, slightly modified, can be applied to people whose lives have been impacted by the addict in their lives. Therefore, a person can use this Roadmap to influence the addict to change, as well as apply it to their own life to improve it.
In the Roadmap Out of Addiction process that I created I teach the following 7 C’s to Transformation, which can also be applied to other problems in life. These steps must be worked on in the order presented:
- Change Your Focus. Identify your passion in life and have it active in your life on a weekly basis. Write a new vision for your life based upon using your passion in life to reach out to love and serve others. Shift your focus to 80/20. Spend 80% of your free time focused on developing your awesome future. Spend 20% of your time on identifying and resolving your underlying issue(s).
- Control Your Emotions. This is critical for you and the addict. I have an e-book, Tapping Away Your Addiction, where I teach addicts how to use Tapping to calm their emotions and other issues in their lives. I am writing another e-book Tapping Into Serenity to help those who have been hurt in life to find serenity in their lives.
- Challenge Your Beliefs. Evaluate your beliefs, thoughts and self-talk. Henry Ford said “If you believe you can or you can’t, you’re right.” You must believe in yourself, despite your current interactions with the addict or alcoholic in your life. Your beliefs create the picture in your mind, and your mind makes that picture come true—no matter how much willpower you have. Your beliefs allow you to ignore the negative name-calling the addict or alcoholic is using to try to blame you for his or her addiction.
- Clarify The Issues. You as the spouse or family member of an addict may not have any issues that contributed to the loved one’s behavior, but you may be struggling with the drama and chaos caused by the addict’s behaviors. Identify your issues and learn how to handle them in a manner that doesn’t put your life in a downward spiral. You as the spouse or family member may not have any of these issues, but you may be struggling with the drama and chaos caused by the addict’s behaviors. Once the addict has something to motivate him or her in a forward direction, the addict needs to identify any underlying problem(s). Review the charts I provide in my book and determine what skills and habits the addict needs to learn to assist them in resolving their issues. These charts are for the addict.
- Communicate With Purpose. How do you get through to the addict? What can you say to influence him or her? Instead of knee-jerk reactions, learn ways to start meaningful conversations with the addict. An Appendix in my book is called “Conversation Starters” to assist you. For the addict, a lot of his or her conversation is about blaming others, calling you names, cussing, throwing anger tantrums, etc. These behaviors become habits which the addict must also learn a different way of communicating.
- Change Your Lifestyle. Before a person can change, they need to know what needs changing. In the previous steps you have identified a lot of the issues you may be dealing with. Now you can prepare ahead of time how to handle these issues differently when they show up. The same applies for the addict. I identify 12 possible triggers for relapse so you can begin to identify what causes him or her to relapse. Then the addict must also learn how to stop the knee-jerk reactions. Lifestyle changes cannot come by remaining the same person you are today. But where do you start? I teach you five skills that allow you to: handle your emotions, bring freedom through forgiveness, build confidence to do anything you want, establish boundaries, and bring love into every situation.
- Choose Life Daily. Success requires new habits, especially for addicts and their friends and family members. These habits include: choose the right attitude, control your thoughts and words, serve others, and be around the right people. Also look at what bad habits you need to change in your life.
Because of my unique perspective (having been both an addict and the wife of an addict who had the life sucked out of her), I am able to cut to the chase and avoid any long, drawn-out process!
While you can figure out some of these things on your own, since I have walked in both the shoes of the addict and the wife of an addict, I have unique wisdom to identify the underlying issues in people and the steps necessary to change their behaviors.
I also come from the viewpoint that the loved one of the addict is not the problem. You are not broken, damaged, nor codependent. I honor you for staying in your relationship with the addict and doing everything you can to try to save it. Some would call this enabling, I call it love.
While other programs tell you that you cannot change the addict, that it is best to leave him or her, I show you a proven step-by-step method to influence the addict. In reality, nobody can change anyone. Think of a toddler. They need to be changed in their behaviors. So there are plenty of books on the market on what you can do influence the toddler to change their behavior. My book guides you on how you can influence the addict — probably better than a rehab program!
What would change in your life if your reactive behavior to the addict was different?
- Your spark for life would be back.
- Relationships restored.
- Freedom from stress and worry.
- Your passion in life would be back.
A Brighter Future Awaits You!
By working with me through this three-month Personal Coaching Intensive here are some additional benefits:
- You will have the skills to handle stress, anxieties, and emotional hurts that may arise in your future.
- Your life will be transformed . . . instead of living from a place of fear and timidity, you have boldness to live life full out.
- You will know how to best influence the addict in your life.
- If you don’t know what your passion is in your life or what your destiny is, we will uncover it together.
- If you have any mindset issues that keep you from obtaining wealth, relationships, or living your life on fire, they will be identified and resolved.
- If you are undecided on whether to leave the relationship, different options will be discussed in detail.
- You will have a plan of action to follow to use your passion in life to reach out to love and serve others.
Imagine yourself . . . in just three short months . . . being free from your emotional roller coaster. Freedom to be yourself again and to play full out in life! But you have to be willing to put in the work to make this happen.
What would it feel like to live every day without the stress of your current triggers?
To one again feel the passion well up inside you as you dream again of pursing the path to your awesome future!
Life is too short to stay stuck in your hell hole!
Now is the time to take action to get your life back on track.
It’s Decision Time!
This is a three-month Personal Coaching Intensive (online or via phone). Here is how it operates:
- Weekly one-hour telephone coaching calls online via Zoom (or over the phone). Each uniquely designed to move you from where you are currently stuck to where you want to be living your life. The transformation continues for the entire three months. If you need to continue beyond the three months, monthly coaching available until you are well on your way to freedom.
- As a teacher, I teach you with specific goals in mind and give you specific strategies to reach them. If all you want to do is whine, this program is not for you.
- Recordings of your coaching calls.
- Personal encouragement and accountability.
- Got issues with getting money to invest in this coaching program? I offer a sliding scale to accommodate you ($30 – $150 per weekly session, billed in advance).
This is not a program that goes on forever. It can be extended beyond the three-month basic program should issues develop that need further time to resolve. If you don’t think that your life can be changed in as little as three months, then this is a belief you need to identify and change.
By initially limiting the program to three months, we work to accomplish major changes quickly, rather than have them drawn out for months or years.
One thing I’ve learned about changing things . . . whether it is changing a habit, or writing a report . . . it will take as long as the time limit we give it.
I’ve also learned that a change in certain areas of our lives dramatically shortens the time it takes to change other areas of our lives.
That’s why it only takes three months to make a radical transformation in your life.
That is . . . if you come to the table being willing to play full-out!
Email me now at Kathy@MyFriendIsAnAddict.com to schedule a free 30 minute consultation about how your life can be transformed in 3 months!
I look forward to helping you transform your life to become the person beyond your wildest dreams. You can impact your world by reaching your personal vision for your life!
Kathy
Kathy Williamson
Author, Speaker & Addictions Coach
P.S. Email me now before my calendar fills up. Kathy@MyFriendIsAnAddict.com Once I receive your email I will email you with a link to my calendar to schedule your free 30 minute consultation. Your life can be better. Don’t continue living in daily drama.